In a pondering moment,
To think about a life I’ve lived,
And the future forthcoming.
I am a man, this is clear.
I am passionate,
I am caring,
I am loved,
I am compassionate,
I am a designer,
I will make you laugh,
I am cunty,
I am thoughtful
I will make you happy,
I am busy,
I am opinionated,
I am a listener,
I will love you unconditionally,
I will be your best friend,
I am determined,
I will be amazing,
I am lonely,
I am confusing,
I will never fight,
I will listen to you talk for hours,
I will debate with you and respect your thoughts and ideas,
And still love you in the end,
I am amazing,
I am a dreamer and a doer,
I am single and fear I always will be,
But who am I?
I am me,
But to someone I am amazing.
And I will be there everything.
Who am I?
I am just me and that is good enough.
That I know for sure.
But life changes and the changes can be unforeseen.
When something doesn’t work out,
Things much change.
I know while my last relationship wasn’t the greatest.
Nor was it the best time of my life.
I felt empty, like I was missing something even though I had everything I wanted.
I guess it was the person wasn’t what I wanted.
An intelligent conversation was something they could never hold,
And they only wanted ONE thing.
A relationship about that was always faulted.
When it ended I was sad, for a moment.
I gave a year of my life to work on something that didn’t fulfill me mentally or emotionally.
I was empty, even before the end.
When ‘I Love you’ is said out of connivence and has no real feeling to it.
Now I have this time to reflect,
Think about what happened,
And how it was ended, not face to face but over the phone.
That’s no way to say goodbye.
Now time has past,
And there are prospect of starting anew.
It’s time to move on, beyond the past.
Hopefully the next will be better than the last.
Where it is one where we support each other and there is no jealousy.
Where we go on adventures together,
And I never have to spend a moment without you.
We will be each other rocks,
We will laugh and never take anything too serious,
We will have the relationship I aspire to have,
We will have an amazing life, where moments are not wasted.
You will be my everything.
My sky, my moon, my stars, and my oceans.
There will never be anyone else but you.
You will always bring a smile to my face,
When I hold your hand I’ll never let go,
No matter who is around.
When you call, I’ll always pick up,
I will never let you go.
I will be amazing.
I won’t repeat the past.
You will make me whole, while I hopefully do the same for you.
You won’t be a rebound, you’ll be the one.
How I wish you’d show up.
So our lives together can finally begin.
I never really talk about it much.
There isn’t much need to.
I’ll make a casual reference to something and only replace their name with ‘that idiot that had teeth that look like busted window panes.’
The relationship I had wasn’t anything amazing.
It was nothing to write home about or tell anyone about.
It was just something that dragged along till an end.
An end that should have happen well before the year mark.
I haven’t though about this person much since it ended.
I do remember the parting words, ‘Maybe someday we can rekindle this again.’
With a stupid phrase like that my memory was suddenly about the year and half was erased.
I was over it and I was onto bigger and better things.
But now enough time has past and I’ve begun to reflect.
Thinking about the annoyances,
The sorta good times,
The very rare amazing times,
And I think about my ablitlity to handle a relationship.
When I reflect on this year I think about all the things I missed,
All the people I could’ve dated,
Only to end up with this one.
I felt like I could do better.
Even in the more personal moments, I was thinking of someone else.
Someone better, someone I already met,
Someone more amazing than what I was settling with.
I feel when this happens, it’s time to get out.
As I was ending up in a relationship my professional life was finally changing.
When a life long dream happens, you can’t let something like that go,
And a relationship shouldn’t hold you back,
It should help you grow,
But when it becomes a race over jealousy, something like this cannot survive.
It also came down to friends as well.
With my friends we can laugh for hours and nothing is ever serious.
With their friends they didn’t know how to laugh and alcohol was always needed.
Maybe they were too white trash for me,
It is still unclear in my mind.
I need someone classier, who can laugh at my jokes, and just makes me happy to be around,
Who knows where I’ll end up,
Who knows if I’ll ever have kids
But I know one chapter is over,
And most importantly I learned,
Never to repeat those mistakes.
I know the next chapter will be better than the last.
I just got an awesome new follower!!
I have the urge to buy or sell Tupperware right now!!
Oh it’s coming.
Time to get ready!! :)
Okay, I’m just going to come out and say this. I hate religion. I hate every aspect of religion. For everyone who follow a religion, I’m sorry. Your god is about as real as the Easter Bunny and Santa Clause. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but anyone who can at least think for themselves and not depend on some religion should know this.
So I’m watching an NBC special about Mormonism because I wanted it to be shown in a real light. So far it only pisses me off. I wish I could explain this in words but I can’t. I’ll just do a list because Mormons suck and they should change.
-Women are not equal to Man. Get with the damn times!!! Women and men are equal. Change your stupid rules
-black people were banned until 1972. Come on, really. Why would ANYONE want to be apart of this.
-they don’t drink caffeine. Ugh.
-no alcohol. Have fun in your stupid white bread existence.
-the magic underwear exists. Jewish people were better. Payer shaws are greater than magic underwear.
-pologomy is a good thing. And the women get shafted. The man wins. Come on. THIS IS STUPID!!
-missions to make you Mormon. I will slam the door in your face every time. I will never become Mormon.
-being gay was consider a sickness and they will go to therapy to be changed. FUUUUCCCCK YOU!!! But gays can serve in a position but must be celebate. Are you kidding me?? So the straight male can have sex with different women but the gay guy can’t do anything. Sucks to be you.
-they spend up to three hours in church. Talk about a complete waste of time.
-non Mormons cannot go inside of the temple. So if a family member is getting married you cannot be apart of the being sealed ceremony. Come on. I’m getting more annoyed.
-the church only cares for its own. And as a non Mormon I will gladly say I wouldn’t want your stupid help anyways.
-they fast once a month and give the money they would have spent on food to the church. And they give 10% to the church. NO ONE is getting any of my money. Its bad enough the government gets it. But i would never give it to a church. I will not be brainwashed!
-a Mormon could be president. I will move to Canada. It’s nicer there and they have free health care.
I’m annoyed. I’m going to stop.